People. They're everywhere.

So I've been around [the local fetish community] a while now. I've learned a lot.

Lately, I've been thinking, less and less is surprising, or "shocking." What began for me as a notion of the "open relationship" was replaced with an understanding of the endless variations on polyamory. The idea that people are either men or women (or maybe trans) was replaced with the notion that people exist all over a spectrum of gender-- and that it can evolve and change over time. The idea that people are either straight, gay, or bi replaced with the understanding that sexuality, too, exists on a spectrum.

Pretty much, I've learned that people are people, and people are each individual, complex beings. I am so used to you now, and more used to myself.

Some of my coworkers I am quite comfortable talking to in regards to my participation in kink activities, and the lives of the fascinating people I've come to know, and I am comfortable talking to them because they are generally open-minded and simply eager to learn about the lives of other people. Yet... every now and then, apparently, I shock them, too.

When I was a teenager, fancied myself as bisexual. However, such a label never quite seemed to fit, because as it turns out, by my personal definition, I'm not. I like ladies, but I have a strong preference for men, so I list myself here as 'heteroflexible.' And that's fine!

But I mentioned to someone that I may be looking at entering the dating scene (sort of) for the first time, with women. That was shocking to him. Shocking to someone who has known for some time that my relationship with my husband is non-monogamous, and that I have played sexually with other women. "So are you, like, part-time lesbian?" "No, I don't think so." "Are you bisexual?" "Not exactly, no." "Well what the hell are you then?"

As stated, I have a general preference for men, romantically, sexually, and personally. However, I am attracted to people more than genitalia. I don't get to control what my heart desires; it's like [my friend,] Troll; it does what it wants. So, what the hell am I?

I'm Laura.